The fire is burning The room’s all aglow
Outside the December wind blows
Away in the distance The carolers sing in the snow
Everybody’s laughing The world is celebrating
And everyone’s so happy Except for me tonight
I miss you
Most at Christmas time
And I can’t get you Get you off my mind
Every other season comes along And I’m all right
But then I miss you
Most at Christmas time
Mariah Carey – Miss you Most (At Christmas Time)
Yess after struggling so hard with the topic that would i post at this just ordinary girl blog, suddenly that Aunty Mariah Carey song came to my mind, yess it came without getting my permission first *hard punch*. Yess i miss you most at christmas, MOM… I have been missing these things since 3 years 4 months 23 ago;
- H-7 to Christmas day, Mom used to be uttering everything about Christmas, everywhere in the house and every time she got the chance. What our dining table would be, what kind of food should be prepared on dining table, what cookies should we buy, how much chicken we should buy, what drinks, canned or bottle? How much? Where should we put the living room table, at the right or left side (because our tiny house not allowed us to put the table at center ^_^), cleaned up all the glassy things from window, saucers, plates, glasses. It also meant seven days in a row, late night sleep for that traditional way of making “kue bawang”; our home Christmas specialty. And at 25 December she used to wake up at 4 a.m alone, pray, and then wake up the rest of family member for churching together.
- Missing a box full of handmade Christmas cookies including a slipped in Christmas card from my not-that-sexy older sister (this is special when i was still with my student title, but what to say she just left me when i was finished with that title T_T).
- Yeah Christmas season really brings back all the memories. Missing her smile, her jokes, missing how she recalled all her teenager time. Missing how mom called my name based on her mood. She would call me Theresia (with that swing intonation) and when i showed up, she gave me the widest smile with sparkling eyes when she was really happy. If she called me by “Nita”, so that meant “oh okay, today just like another flat day” yeah everything just ok, nothing special, but if she didn’t call me instead the others around me,,,,mmm that meant i should know i was in trouble >_<.
- Missing how she became so generous to everyone…even with the one that hurt her so much.. (Everyone who gave their testimonial at mom funeral day came to this point, her generosity). I’m really proud of my mom for this one, not everyone can be generous when they in lack, but my mom always and unconditionally.
- Missing her “Ayam Kampung Masak Segitiga” recipe at my birthday instead of other gift that showed at my birthday wishing list.
- Missing her smell, missing how she dressed, missing how everybody waiting for her and her jokes at the family gathering.
- Missing her these and missing her those..ah so much, i can’t write it all one by one…If only i could see her smile for the last time before she’s gone… yess, if only…
Missing all those things, just makes me realize that i should love the others family member who still stay beside me, show them more love, and let them know that i love them. I love them for the way they are..cherish all the moment, bad or goods…yess all of it.
Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?
The Lord took her away from me.
She’s gone to heaven so I’ve got to be good,
So I can see my baby when I leave this world.
There in the road straight ahead,
A car was stalled, the engine was dead.
I couldn’t stop, so I swerved to the right,
I’ll never forget the sound that night.
The screaming tires, the busting glass,
The painful scream that I heard last…
Last Kiss by Pearl Jam
So what u miss most at Christmas??