Those Hurtful Words

At first, I intended to write only positive and happy things on this blog. Unfortunately, I like sharing my bad moments as well and this time will be my other upsetting moments (again).

Since happiness is a state of mind, I try to be happy no matter how hard my life is. I hope the positive result of just everything, which is hard. I try to smile and laugh when I receive bad treatment, which is even harder. I try to believe that sometimes laugh with the people who laugh about my life would make my life easier, but I failed so many times. And worse, it lingers. There are few ‘incidents’ that I want to forget, really want to, but so far, I failed and failed.

Fat

It happened yesterday. There is a man in our office, as far as I remember; he often appeared around my lunch time, like yesterday. Right after I hopped off alone from the car, I saw his face from afar and for the sake of those times when we had brief conversation, I gave him smile. He shouted back. I thought he said something nice because he did it while smiling widely. And when he repeated it louder, he heard he said,

”Hi besar, si badan besar!!!.”

“Hi, Big, the big body!” proudly and happily.

That was one time I wanted to punch someone’s face. And it made me remembered there were times when I was having my lunch, he said,

“Hei, makan terus! Makanya gendut.”(Hi, eating is all you’ve done, so that’s why you are fat!).

Okay, okay, who doesn’t know that I’m fat by seeing me directly? However, I thought it was harsh. And then, there, I was staring at my food and slowly losing my appetite. That, I want to forget moments like that, however, sometimes I lose. What I should do to this man. My problem with him is, I don’t have any idea whether this man thinks that we are close enough or what because he often addresses me carelessly. Some people might say I’m too serious or why bother. But I do bother by it (especially while having my meal). We are not that close though.

cry mask

picture

You can’t make me hor*y by doing that

I put a lot of thought whether it’s ethically right to post something like this. However, I decided to post it since I want to know the reaction. It happened a long time ago, very long time ago, which I’m supposed to forget, but I can’t. Women and men in our office are shared the same lavatory. It doesn’t matter for me. But one time, something upsetting happened to me because of this shared thing and partly my careless behavior, like that time when I stepped out the lavatory while tidying my uniform, and suddenly a guy stood right in front of me. I was so shock because I was in the middle of my business, besides that I didn’t hear his steps. My scream might put that person on shock mode too for him to say,

“Calm, it won’t make me hor*y.”

Okay, at that spot, I laughed over it, later, I can’t let those words out of my mind. I have wondered why he said that to me. I think that was rude, definitely rude. Did he think I tried to seduce him or what? Why? What? Why? Or didn’t he have something else to say. I want to forget that. I want to respect that person the way I did at our first meeting, but I failed.

I would be happy if I was rebuked for my work than others while at office.

What about you guys? Do you hold grudge like me? How to overcome it? How to face it?

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12 thoughts on “Those Hurtful Words

  1. Hi Yuna! I would like to share this quote: When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

    Keep out of that kind of person. Stay positive. You’re beautiful inside out. ❤

  2. Hi Yun.. the first one is so rude and even if you both close enough, he shouldn’t call you that way.. it is not appropriate calling… maybe he doesn’t know how to behave in front of a lady.. not a gentleman type of a man.. For the second, i think he wants to change the awkward moment by saying something, but he is using the words too much… *hug

    1. I usually let few close people call me ‘Ndut’.
      No, he’s indeed not the gentleman one.
      the second one, yes, it’s too much, he’s my boss though. 😦
      I have few bosses, and my another boss once throw harsher words,
      “Ah, kamu jelek, makanya susah dapat pacar.”
      See? how could my boss? He better reviewed my work as harsh as that.
      No, I don’t think I don’t have boyfriend because of that, but sometimes it’s saddening to hear how someone is picturing your life.

    2. Yup.. sometimes people forget to put filter on their mouth so they don’t know how hurtful that words are.. I met this kind of person also in my office once and he judge why I am single, and you know what….I cried that time… #Cengeng 😀 … Habis kasar sih dia bikin kesimpulan ttg diriku… Parah memang org2 tanpa filter mulut ini..

    3. Ah, selalu ada orang-orang begitu yah, aku udh 4 kali pindah perusahan, dan selalu ada yg begitu. Ahh, sama pernah gak tahan langsung memanfaatkan toilet *menangis*.
      Hugggsss.

  3. Hello! Dearest Yuna. I know it is really hard when people say hurtful things to you, especially because not every time one’s brain can think of a harsh comeback with another hurtful comment, or perhaps one’s heart is too kind to even think about hurting the other person. I am a bit stupid and thick skinned that not very often I get hurt by someone else’s rude comment, but when I notice and I can’t hurl another at them. I always in my head think ‘I shouldn’t waste my precious time, with someone who obviously is a dumbass and a bully. Because those kind of people’s opinion doesn’t really and will never matter.’
    The guy you used to trust? he is such a horrible person. I am glad you get to realised it now, so good riddance.

    1. Dine,
      Ah, it’s really nice to read these words from you.
      I’m a sensitive and emotional person, sometimes I hate myself for that (really) and think it would be much better to be thick skinned. Really.
      Thank you for letting me know your thoughts about this Ndiene. ❤

  4. udah kenyang ngalamin kayak gini, bahkan dari keluarga besar aku sendiri.. sampai satu titik, aku sempat menggerutu ( susahnya gak bisa ngomong balik ke orang yang lebih tua, krn ujung2 nya bakal orangtua aku yang kena diomongin sama mereka ), and ngomel sendiri tapi dengan suara keras, biar yang ngomong berasa disindir secara tidak langsung. Sekarang sih, aku gak peduli mereka mau ngomong apa, aku gak minta makan sama mereka. Biarlah Tuhan yang balas, kitanya stay positive aja, anggap mereka angin lalu ( walopun mungkin lebih susah dipraktekin ), aku yakin kamu bisa, semangattt Yuna.. 🙂

    1. Makasih Inly.
      Kalo lagi ada kejadian yang sama suka keinget yg jahat2. gini. Tapi setelah itu lupa, eh kejadian lagi suka inget lagi. Semangat!! Kita emang harus tebelin telinga dan lapangin dada selapang-lapangnya. 😀
      Lets hug.

    2. Be positive thinking aja sekarang.. Emang kalo pas lagi kejadian lagi suka ke trigger inget yang dulu.. iyaa, setuju.. tebelin telinga.. hehe.. *big big hug* :))

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