At first, I intended to write only positive and happy things on this blog. Unfortunately, I like sharing my bad moments as well and this time will be my other upsetting moments (again).
Since happiness is a state of mind, I try to be happy no matter how hard my life is. I hope the positive result of just everything, which is hard. I try to smile and laugh when I receive bad treatment, which is even harder. I try to believe that sometimes laugh with the people who laugh about my life would make my life easier, but I failed so many times. And worse, it lingers. There are few ‘incidents’ that I want to forget, really want to, but so far, I failed and failed.
It happened yesterday. There is a man in our office, as far as I remember; he often appeared around my lunch time, like yesterday. Right after I hopped off alone from the car, I saw his face from afar and for the sake of those times when we had brief conversation, I gave him smile. He shouted back. I thought he said something nice because he did it while smiling widely. And when he repeated it louder, he heard he said,
”Hi besar, si badan besar!!!.”
“Hi, Big, the big body!” proudly and happily.
That was one time I wanted to punch someone’s face. And it made me remembered there were times when I was having my lunch, he said,
“Hei, makan terus! Makanya gendut.”(Hi, eating is all you’ve done, so that’s why you are fat!).
Okay, okay, who doesn’t know that I’m fat by seeing me directly? However, I thought it was harsh. And then, there, I was staring at my food and slowly losing my appetite. That, I want to forget moments like that, however, sometimes I lose. What I should do to this man. My problem with him is, I don’t have any idea whether this man thinks that we are close enough or what because he often addresses me carelessly. Some people might say I’m too serious or why bother. But I do bother by it (especially while having my meal). We are not that close though.
You can’t make me hor*y by doing that
I put a lot of thought whether it’s ethically right to post something like this. However, I decided to post it since I want to know the reaction. It happened a long time ago, very long time ago, which I’m supposed to forget, but I can’t. Women and men in our office are shared the same lavatory. It doesn’t matter for me. But one time, something upsetting happened to me because of this shared thing and partly my careless behavior, like that time when I stepped out the lavatory while tidying my uniform, and suddenly a guy stood right in front of me. I was so shock because I was in the middle of my business, besides that I didn’t hear his steps. My scream might put that person on shock mode too for him to say,
“Calm, it won’t make me hor*y.”
Okay, at that spot, I laughed over it, later, I can’t let those words out of my mind. I have wondered why he said that to me. I think that was rude, definitely rude. Did he think I tried to seduce him or what? Why? What? Why? Or didn’t he have something else to say. I want to forget that. I want to respect that person the way I did at our first meeting, but I failed.
I would be happy if I was rebuked for my work than others while at office.
What about you guys? Do you hold grudge like me? How to overcome it? How to face it?