How I Want to Remember Them

Sometimes life can be so mysterious and the other times, it’s filled with surprises. Good times and bad times come alternately. At the same time, a family might hold a celebration of one’s birth, meanwhile at the other part of the world, there are people who in mourning because of losing their other half. I’m now in the last category, in grieving. No, I’m not writing this asking for pity. No. Since I lost my mom about 7 years ago, I fully aware that nothing lasts forever in this world and death is something that we can’t avoid, it’s just about how and when.

I just received another depressing phone call, told me that my auntie just passed away in an accident. She is my mom’s step-sister. I called her tante Lucy (it’s upsetting when I start talking about her in past tense). As far as I remember, she had different traits with the other aunties from my mom’s line, which was more lovable or easier to be with (I’m not trying to despise the other aunties because my characters are similar to the other aunties). The way tante Lucy talked and the way she smiled were sweet. Recalling it, now realize that our last meeting was about five years ago. What a long time and now I can’t meet her anymore. 😥

When I was much younger, tante Lucy was one of few aunties whom I looked for at Christmas season because of her various delicate Christmas cakes and sometimes angpao, and moreover she always received us with widely open arms and warm smile. I liked it. That’s my strongest impression about her, and that’s how I always want to remember her, until the rest of my life.

However, there are some ignorant people who enjoy ruining someone’s pray as simple as mine. And this is my main reason why I want to write something as depressing as this.

As we all know that lately, social media, especially FB has been a popular platform for people of all ages sharing any kind of news, whether it’s good or bad. To this point, just by reading the newest timeline on my social media, I get the information about what is happening. Since yesterday, I’ve seen this news about an old woman who was laying on her back on the road side with bad face condition and fresh blood were surrounded her body, as though she was beaten badly right on her face (I’m shivering now). It all was left uncensored. Bad, huh. On the headline news, it was written that she was a victim of begal (deathly robbers   with motorcycle), which has haunted Samarinda for the last past years, and it’s getting worse day by day. So, my friends started sharing the news, mentioning the right position where it happened to avoid more victims to come. I knew that they wanted to raise the awareness of safety driving or whatever it was about the lack of government’s concern and action regarding begal issue. For whatever the reason was, I skipped the news. That wasn’t the only news I ignored, it has been thousands. I’ve never like any news with horrible pictures or video to begin with. I don’t share, give reaction, or like that kind of news so it will be widely spread. I hate it. However, since I already had a glimpse of the news, it haunted me. I felt bad for the victim. Still, I didn’t like the act of people who shared it. As I scrolled down my timeline, the frequency was increasing. There was even a video for it. It was terrible. Heartless. I thought.

In the middle of wondering, like one in drama, I got message from my niece, when I opened it, the content was a screen captured of that haunting news on my FB’s wall, with a line of text written,” nenek (grandma) Lucy.” I was shocked by it. The fact that hard to believe. So, it was my auntie. My auntie. My memory of tante Lucy suddenly kept coming back. How could I believe that horrible accident was my sweet auntie? I was in denial, the victim’s face was hardly recognized anyway, until my brother who lives near auntie called me and told me that yes, the news was about our auntie. God. The accident was terrible. And the picture of the victim, it left me in despair. Remembering the news, it really ruins my memory of tante Lucy. And it makes the memory of my mom’s accident keeps on appearing. So now, I face another terrible lost. People who ignorantly share the news might not aware the effect of their actions, but somehow it left the scars to the victim, especially to the family who are left behind.

I always want to have this wonderful memory about whoever left me first. I want to have the last sweet pictures of them. However, it all ruined. I hope in the future, people become more considerate in sharing anything.

To my forever sweet and tender tante Lucy, may your soul rest in peace. Send my greeting to your sister, up there in heaven. ❤

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-4 (KJV)

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

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