Still That One Person

Thank you for the last years we spent.
It was the most thrilling and challenging rollercoaster that I had ridden so far.

I had seen that life could be darker.
When you thought it was dark on your side,
Hold on, the darkest road was yet to come.

I had faced my multiple nightmares,
While the colorful rainbow, eventually appeared.

I thought it was my most quirky forced bonding.
Ah I might’ve thought we could be able to give colors one to another in many ways, which the truth was, I was stained too much, to the point that I had never imagined before.
To the point I lost my true colors frequently.

It was fun at first,
Until it turned out funny,
While I thought still fun,
And then changed to crazy
To the point I couldn’t accept it.

The games that I initiated first should be fun,
The road I chose should be interesting,
Until I knew it wasn’t me who mastered the game.

It wasn’t me who took the wheel,
It drove me crazy.
I denied,
I went insane,
Still denied,
I went mad,
More denial,
I lost myself,

I had no choice, but to accepted,
Then I realized,
I started to get myself back again.
No it wasn’t useless though,
I tasted the fun
I felt pleased
I was happy on some moments
I was true while playing it
My intention was always fun for both of us
My intention was we had so much fun,
While it wasn’t on your side.

I poured out my best,
I said what needed to be said,
There were ups,
There were downs,
So it was still on the track,
While your game was differently said it all in silent.
Even until the time I wrote this,
Your silent is everything,
And I fed up.
I don’t regret anything.
It just slid in my mind,
Why did I hold on this fragile egg to long.
Now I admit,
I play it wrong,
I have to admit
It was a wrong game to begin with,
It was a rotten egg I chose first,
From the wrong basket,
That I should have never picked.
I was all wrong to think
That feeling, bonding, and all could be played,
Could be done for fun.
Life could be fun and funny,
But yeah, it couldn’t be played for fun.
I was wrong.
Or I can say,
I was wrong for not letting the fun as it was initiated neither intended at first.
What did I expect?
And why did I expect?
Nevertheless, I still value what had been happened
Enough for now
Let’s end it here.

Thank you


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