October 2019
It was one of my many breakdown moments when I finally decided to go along with my friend’s plan for spending our field break in Karimunjawa, Jepara, Central Java.
That time I didn’t feel like having another holidays, especially islands hopping. I’d rather spent time alone than travelled anywhere far from my parents’ home. The home where I always came back when I felt like something too heavy to bear (which thankfully my fam was always there for me and my any kind of condition). Even though, it is not a big deal now, I was hardly moved on from those sullen moments I felt back then.
Most of people around me thought that I was too much or too good to be in that sounded so stupid condition. However, what I felt was so real back then. Well, now I just think that sometimes we all have that kind of “times like that”. Those confusing moments when I, myself thought I wasn’t in my right mind, neither right behavior. However, in the end, those moments brought me to Karimunjawa.
Not a place that I happily neither consciously chose to recover myself, however, once again, there was time like that, when something drove you somewhere, to the place you never thought before, to the place you had never longed before, but you were there, just because the time like this.
My time like this, when it brought me travelled far from home to Karimunjawa.
Time when I thought I could have washed away my sullen sky, which at the end of trip I found out it didn’t work at all.
It wasn’t washed away the sullen atmosphere that covered myself, neither cleared my mind.
Looking through the picture gallery for that time while recalling the moment, I am feeling grateful that at least I tried, even though it didn’t work at all. Thankful that at least I tried and I am still alive. I am safe and sound.
And still have the memories with me which always becomes a cliché self-reminder that life didn’t work as planned or as I wanted it work. However, it’s good that I tried.
Enjoy the pictures, as I enjoyed that moment.
Swinging from one conclusion to another one, but we got nowhere close.
When I thought dipping my head in to the ocean could wash away the pain, but it couldn’t.
When I thought one or two free diving would free my mind, but it wouldn’t
When I tried to swimming in to your soul and I got no current out. Instead, I got drowned helplessly.
And then I chose to walk away as my memories of you faded away.
There was sunset when I said we better settled in, but we didn’t.
Little Orange World 
Aduh pengen banget kesini, semoga kesampaian
Semoga kesampaian segera, Mba Ev. 🙂
Stay safe.